Deathly sick

The past few days I have been knocked out cold with a fever quite high, headaches like hell and a voice that kept leaving me.
At such a time one is given an extreme amount of time to think about things. And therefor I have given death by disease much thought. I have always had a strong opinion on this subject. I NEVER want to die due to some fucked up annoying illness. I simply refuse! I can't stand the idea of being so helpless and just lying in a bed waiting for the sickness to finish me off. I know for sure I would rather take my own life than play the waiting game with diseases. Can you seriously think of any other way to go that would be more humiliating? Everybody who cares about you surrounding you, pitying you and having to endure all the sadness and melancholy which spreads in the room. Oh and not to mention that you would probably be a BIG burden to everybody. Personally I would hate that (but hey, I'm SUCH a people-pleaser.)

So if I ever was told I had caught an untreatable disease my first reaction would be anger. Anger and frustration. I would be angry with the disease and hate it for having infected my body. The next thing would be me leaving the hospital live life until I got bored and decided to put an end to it. But that's just me ;)

Speaking of diseases. My job at the hospital sometimes make me witness some very disturbing phone calls. I can't go into detail since I have signed this confidentiality thing, but some of the things I overhear are quite bad. I'm pretty lucky I'm only in the blood department so I don't actually see any patients or any bad injuries or anything. In fact the only "patients" I see are people coming to donate their blood.