The light is scarcely the water is everywhere and the air is cold. My footsteps echo through the big halls and the dripping of water leaking through the roof adds to the feel of being in a horror movie.
I went urban exploring in an abandoned slaughter house. This experience honestly made me wonder how it is to be in a slaughter house when it's not abandoned. I have a feeling it's an ugly sight I never want to find out if I'm right or wrong. All the killing and the smell of death reaching my nostrils maybe even blood on the floor. No thanks.
What would it be like to die in a slaughter house? I mean as one of the animals dying by the knife, gun or whatever tool they use to take out the future meat in the supermarket. What might ones last thought be as you get into those great halls where machinery and cold hands wait to welcome you to the last stop in the journey called life. I guess you'd be terrified. Scared shitless and without any capability of doing a thing.
It's supposed to be a fast way of dying and the most humane, but I don't think I would like one bit of it. All the fear rushing through your bones knowing there is no way out.
The death industry as I like to call it.
But since the building stopped being a slaughter house a few years back there was no reason to fear dying on a conveyor belt. No, no those days are over there. BUT instead I could start thinking about dying caused by a blow to the head from something that fell from the ceiling.
Before I stepped inside the building I looked up to see if any potential dangerous things hung in the ceiling. Some places they did. Some of the roof was actually falling apart in some of the rooms. I thought about being hit by one the big pipes or just the florescent lights which had probably ceased to work years ago. What would I do if I was hit and lost consciousness? A pretty sight, imagine this: A girl being knocked out, slamming to the floor and just lying there for who knows how long while her dog sniffs around on tiptoes not knowing what is happening, but sensing something bad. The scene is far away from public eyes and nobody knows the girl went there.
I had to be lucky to survive that.
mandag den 5. december 2011
onsdag den 2. november 2011
It's the inside that counts
People always speak of the insides of other people and that it is those who need to be pretty and not the outsides. But what is meant by this nonsense? Nonsense because, really, who has EVER opened the body of a human and thought to herself "Oh what a pretty mixture of fluids and intestines!!". Name one who isn't some sociopath murderer, those people might enjoy it..
The insides. Intestines, vitally important stuff which should be in order to keep a living creature running. But what happens when these things are not okay. When something snaps and chaos starts to reign.
I've heard so many times and again that internal bleeding is a bitch. On the outside you look fine, but on the inside you are dying. Literally. I admit okay might be an exaggeration since signs do show themselves in the body, but they are minor compared to what's happening underneath the skin.
I find internal bleeding odd. Puncturing a vein, but not the skin making the blood leak, but not out of your body, but IN the body itself. It seems so wrong. Blood should be inside of outside never in between!
I wonder how doctors fix people with severe internal bleeding. Is it possible to just sow the veins back together? Makes me wonder. I guess I would just think "Oh shit..." and not know what to do. Speaking of which! I actually have witnessed such a scenario, the bleeding I mean. I had this mini internship thingy in middle school where I went to a vet. Very interesting experience I tell you! Then one of the days I was to observe an operation on one of the customer's dog. They should neutralize her and they therefore cut her open. Everything was fine. Until he hit a vein.... Blood started rushing up and I remember thinking "Oh dear...." unable to fathom what was going on. Apparently this is nothing to worry too much about cause he knew what to do, but all of that blood coming out of her! So wrong...
Now, back to the cause of death theme. I would think dying of internal bleeding would be a nice way to go. I imagine it a little painful, but not too much and I think one is to pass out at some point due to the loss of blood so well, I'm probably not even going to be conscious when the heart stop beating. That's convenient!
The insides. Intestines, vitally important stuff which should be in order to keep a living creature running. But what happens when these things are not okay. When something snaps and chaos starts to reign.
I've heard so many times and again that internal bleeding is a bitch. On the outside you look fine, but on the inside you are dying. Literally. I admit okay might be an exaggeration since signs do show themselves in the body, but they are minor compared to what's happening underneath the skin.
I find internal bleeding odd. Puncturing a vein, but not the skin making the blood leak, but not out of your body, but IN the body itself. It seems so wrong. Blood should be inside of outside never in between!
I wonder how doctors fix people with severe internal bleeding. Is it possible to just sow the veins back together? Makes me wonder. I guess I would just think "Oh shit..." and not know what to do. Speaking of which! I actually have witnessed such a scenario, the bleeding I mean. I had this mini internship thingy in middle school where I went to a vet. Very interesting experience I tell you! Then one of the days I was to observe an operation on one of the customer's dog. They should neutralize her and they therefore cut her open. Everything was fine. Until he hit a vein.... Blood started rushing up and I remember thinking "Oh dear...." unable to fathom what was going on. Apparently this is nothing to worry too much about cause he knew what to do, but all of that blood coming out of her! So wrong...
Now, back to the cause of death theme. I would think dying of internal bleeding would be a nice way to go. I imagine it a little painful, but not too much and I think one is to pass out at some point due to the loss of blood so well, I'm probably not even going to be conscious when the heart stop beating. That's convenient!
søndag den 9. oktober 2011
Mushroom oh
In the darkest of forests or the lightest of woods we went searching. Every eye was fixed on the ground and every square meter of the soil and fallen leaves were examined to reveal the mushrooms hidden underneath and beside them.
My friend and I defied cold and the threat of rain and went to the forest to go looking for edible mushrooms. In the end we ended up with a little shrooms we were pretty sure were edible which we cooked and used to make a pie.
Fingers crossed they were not some poisonous kind :) We can't know for sure yet, the really poisonous ones take 8 or more hours to show signs of poisoning.
Really there are many possible ways to die eating mushrooms you found in the woods by yourself. The most venomous one we have in Denmark is able to kill a person so there is reason to be careful what you put in your mouth!
I guess it would be quite bad to die due to intoxication since I imagine it to be extremely painful. From what I read most of the poison in these mushrooms is some kind of nerve poison which makes serious organ damage which cause them to fail. Pretty much reminds me of how painkillers work their magic when overdosing.
Death by mushroom seems to me like a death that is caused by stupidity or laziness. Either people knew too little about the things they found or were too lazy to find out exactly what kind of specimen they were holding in their hands. This said I believe I could be one of these stupid people one day. I have very little knowledge on mushrooms, but a great interest in them. Some day I might very well find myself calling the poison hotline and being rushed to the hospital with some severe poisoning.
My friend and I defied cold and the threat of rain and went to the forest to go looking for edible mushrooms. In the end we ended up with a little shrooms we were pretty sure were edible which we cooked and used to make a pie.
Fingers crossed they were not some poisonous kind :) We can't know for sure yet, the really poisonous ones take 8 or more hours to show signs of poisoning.
Really there are many possible ways to die eating mushrooms you found in the woods by yourself. The most venomous one we have in Denmark is able to kill a person so there is reason to be careful what you put in your mouth!
I guess it would be quite bad to die due to intoxication since I imagine it to be extremely painful. From what I read most of the poison in these mushrooms is some kind of nerve poison which makes serious organ damage which cause them to fail. Pretty much reminds me of how painkillers work their magic when overdosing.
Death by mushroom seems to me like a death that is caused by stupidity or laziness. Either people knew too little about the things they found or were too lazy to find out exactly what kind of specimen they were holding in their hands. This said I believe I could be one of these stupid people one day. I have very little knowledge on mushrooms, but a great interest in them. Some day I might very well find myself calling the poison hotline and being rushed to the hospital with some severe poisoning.
fredag den 7. oktober 2011
Woman, get back in the kitchen!
The promising scent of banana cake starts to fill the room. Everybody who enters the kitchen smiles that little goofy smile while humming "Mhmm what a delicious smell!" I enjoy looking at them it's so funny watching their expressions which all tell the same story: They desire this cake they can't just have, but try getting a little closer with small polite remarks. But I don't give in the cake is not mine to share :)
Today I helped out in the kitchen at my mother's work. They had this meeting thing with some new customers and needed a little help. Since I take all the work I can get my hands on I was ready right away!
While I was in the kitchen I started wondering about all the things surrounding me which could end my life instantly. The knives, the oven and probably even the dishwasher would be able to finish me off within a few minutes. How would I feel about that? Well, not to happy I'll have to admit. To die in public in some kitchen accident sounds a little too, well, tragically hilarious to me. But how could it happen? I imagine myself standing at the table cutting some vegetables as the knife slips out of my grip. The sudden adrenalin rush as the knife darts towards my body knowing it most certainly is going to hit me. The pain which the stab causes and the jumping up and down to lower it. As I write it occurs to me that I haven't thought this through. No way could I die from this... Get hurt, yes, but die not so much.
Hmm oh well, there's always the odds that a person sneaks up from behind and stabs me while I happen to be in the kitchen. Or they pour boiling water over me, beat me with a meat hammer or hits me with a frying pan knocking me out cold.
Paranoia sure is bliss!
Today I helped out in the kitchen at my mother's work. They had this meeting thing with some new customers and needed a little help. Since I take all the work I can get my hands on I was ready right away!
While I was in the kitchen I started wondering about all the things surrounding me which could end my life instantly. The knives, the oven and probably even the dishwasher would be able to finish me off within a few minutes. How would I feel about that? Well, not to happy I'll have to admit. To die in public in some kitchen accident sounds a little too, well, tragically hilarious to me. But how could it happen? I imagine myself standing at the table cutting some vegetables as the knife slips out of my grip. The sudden adrenalin rush as the knife darts towards my body knowing it most certainly is going to hit me. The pain which the stab causes and the jumping up and down to lower it. As I write it occurs to me that I haven't thought this through. No way could I die from this... Get hurt, yes, but die not so much.
Hmm oh well, there's always the odds that a person sneaks up from behind and stabs me while I happen to be in the kitchen. Or they pour boiling water over me, beat me with a meat hammer or hits me with a frying pan knocking me out cold.
Paranoia sure is bliss!
torsdag den 6. oktober 2011
Veronika decides to die
Today I discovered this book with a most interesting title.The book is called "Veronika decides to die" and quite frankly I was instantly mesmerized. So pure so honest and straightforward a title haven't I seen in quite a while. I really hope to read the entire book someday, but for now I think I'll have to settle with the first few pages I can find online (haven't really sought hard anyway).
The book begins with Veronika wanting to end her life. In fact it is mentioned as "at last". It's so odd. She seems so content with her choice. Even though I only read the first pages I am captivated.
So a little like Veronika I have a wish to die at my own wish some day, but it has to be the right time and the right way (if I have anything to say on that matter). I guess everybody toys with the thought at some point of their life, some even keep going back in the trail of thought and circle around the topic. I admire those who actually take matter into own hands and do something about what they want. I myself must admit that I am probably too scared to do anything yet, but I assure you I have my plans in mind :) I want to know the end of the story that's what's keeping me going!
Things said I do NOT urge people to kill themselves. Or maybe I do I really don't know. It would be better for the world you know? Less people to destroy what's left of the beautiful places and species. It's so unethical of me to say things like that. I know in public you can't say so since everybody would shoo at you. "Shame on you!"
Also I don't know why we try talking people out of committing suicide. Wasn't their point with the whole act not to get away from this world and the mess that was their lives? Let them die if they really want to. Why try to convince them otherwise?
The book begins with Veronika wanting to end her life. In fact it is mentioned as "at last". It's so odd. She seems so content with her choice. Even though I only read the first pages I am captivated.
So a little like Veronika I have a wish to die at my own wish some day, but it has to be the right time and the right way (if I have anything to say on that matter). I guess everybody toys with the thought at some point of their life, some even keep going back in the trail of thought and circle around the topic. I admire those who actually take matter into own hands and do something about what they want. I myself must admit that I am probably too scared to do anything yet, but I assure you I have my plans in mind :) I want to know the end of the story that's what's keeping me going!
Things said I do NOT urge people to kill themselves. Or maybe I do I really don't know. It would be better for the world you know? Less people to destroy what's left of the beautiful places and species. It's so unethical of me to say things like that. I know in public you can't say so since everybody would shoo at you. "Shame on you!"
Also I don't know why we try talking people out of committing suicide. Wasn't their point with the whole act not to get away from this world and the mess that was their lives? Let them die if they really want to. Why try to convince them otherwise?
tirsdag den 4. oktober 2011
Wildlife prey
10 days ago a lynx escaped from a private person in a small town near my home. I actually first knew about this recently and it really doesn't bother me much. I guess the only real complaint I could have about it is that the police has allowed hunters to shoot it and the fact that a person I know hasn't been killed by it. Oh well, I guess you can't have everything.
This little anecdote is not pure madness it does in fact serve a purpose. I started thinking (or maybe really rethinking) on the matter of getting killed by wildlife especially of the carnivorous type. As a matter of fact I wouldn't mind it at all. I might perhaps even be a little happy. I know most animals wouldn't kill you to eat you, but still I wouldn't mind.
This might seem crazy to some people, but I believe that if I was ever killed by an animal I would have brought it upon myself. Not that I would force it, but I would probably have made some mistake along the approach of the animal and it panicked and reacted.
Maybe you would feel so alive at the end of life. Life being taken away by a wild animal. The adrenalin rush as the body desperately tries to run beyond its limits when sudden realization strikes: I can't escape. Claws dig in deep and start to cut the skin and rip the flesh apart. Blood spurts from open wounds and the pain and agony makes you want to scream, but no one and nothing can help you now. You are on your own and your destiny is set. There is no way back only one way forward. You leave your life at the claws of the superior predator.
This little anecdote is not pure madness it does in fact serve a purpose. I started thinking (or maybe really rethinking) on the matter of getting killed by wildlife especially of the carnivorous type. As a matter of fact I wouldn't mind it at all. I might perhaps even be a little happy. I know most animals wouldn't kill you to eat you, but still I wouldn't mind.
This might seem crazy to some people, but I believe that if I was ever killed by an animal I would have brought it upon myself. Not that I would force it, but I would probably have made some mistake along the approach of the animal and it panicked and reacted.
Maybe you would feel so alive at the end of life. Life being taken away by a wild animal. The adrenalin rush as the body desperately tries to run beyond its limits when sudden realization strikes: I can't escape. Claws dig in deep and start to cut the skin and rip the flesh apart. Blood spurts from open wounds and the pain and agony makes you want to scream, but no one and nothing can help you now. You are on your own and your destiny is set. There is no way back only one way forward. You leave your life at the claws of the superior predator.
mandag den 3. oktober 2011
Deathly sick
The past few days I have been knocked out cold with a fever quite high, headaches like hell and a voice that kept leaving me.
At such a time one is given an extreme amount of time to think about things. And therefor I have given death by disease much thought. I have always had a strong opinion on this subject. I NEVER want to die due to some fucked up annoying illness. I simply refuse! I can't stand the idea of being so helpless and just lying in a bed waiting for the sickness to finish me off. I know for sure I would rather take my own life than play the waiting game with diseases. Can you seriously think of any other way to go that would be more humiliating? Everybody who cares about you surrounding you, pitying you and having to endure all the sadness and melancholy which spreads in the room. Oh and not to mention that you would probably be a BIG burden to everybody. Personally I would hate that (but hey, I'm SUCH a people-pleaser.)
So if I ever was told I had caught an untreatable disease my first reaction would be anger. Anger and frustration. I would be angry with the disease and hate it for having infected my body. The next thing would be me leaving the hospital live life until I got bored and decided to put an end to it. But that's just me ;)
Speaking of diseases. My job at the hospital sometimes make me witness some very disturbing phone calls. I can't go into detail since I have signed this confidentiality thing, but some of the things I overhear are quite bad. I'm pretty lucky I'm only in the blood department so I don't actually see any patients or any bad injuries or anything. In fact the only "patients" I see are people coming to donate their blood.
At such a time one is given an extreme amount of time to think about things. And therefor I have given death by disease much thought. I have always had a strong opinion on this subject. I NEVER want to die due to some fucked up annoying illness. I simply refuse! I can't stand the idea of being so helpless and just lying in a bed waiting for the sickness to finish me off. I know for sure I would rather take my own life than play the waiting game with diseases. Can you seriously think of any other way to go that would be more humiliating? Everybody who cares about you surrounding you, pitying you and having to endure all the sadness and melancholy which spreads in the room. Oh and not to mention that you would probably be a BIG burden to everybody. Personally I would hate that (but hey, I'm SUCH a people-pleaser.)
So if I ever was told I had caught an untreatable disease my first reaction would be anger. Anger and frustration. I would be angry with the disease and hate it for having infected my body. The next thing would be me leaving the hospital live life until I got bored and decided to put an end to it. But that's just me ;)
Speaking of diseases. My job at the hospital sometimes make me witness some very disturbing phone calls. I can't go into detail since I have signed this confidentiality thing, but some of the things I overhear are quite bad. I'm pretty lucky I'm only in the blood department so I don't actually see any patients or any bad injuries or anything. In fact the only "patients" I see are people coming to donate their blood.
tirsdag den 27. september 2011
Self-inflicting car crash
Every day one is faced with situations which might end in fatal
disaster. Today was no exception for me. Because today was the day I was
to drive a car on a public way for the first time in my life.
Needless to say this is a situation that occurs multiple times a day all over the world. New drivers are let out in the traffic for the first time meeting the new dangers of driving a car alongside other people, things and animals.
Wish everybody good luck!
So, what would it be like dying in a self-inflicted car crash? My first thought is: Messy, loud, chaotic and definitely guilt-filled. Not only might one not die instantly and therefore suffer for a longer period of time in which body and mind might be caught between the interior of the car, but there is also the possibility one is the main reason another person is injured or killed.
I hope to never ever die in a car crash I was responsible for. I would never be able to, in a figurative speech, live with myself. Being the reason of another persons misery is not a thing I would ever like. And then on the more personal injury note I really hope not to die in a car crash in general since I'm pretty sure extreme pain is guaranteed. Slow death with extreme pain one cannot control is NOT the way I want to die. But if, on the other hand, I was to be lucky and get killed instantly then maybe it would be okay.
But since there really is no guarantee on which it might be I hope for it to never ever happen.
On a side note I have been very cautious and a little tense whenever I drive too fast since the car crash I was involved in on the German highway when I was younger.
Oh and I just remembered the glass shard I have in my back pocket. Pretty stupid to forget about that.
Needless to say this is a situation that occurs multiple times a day all over the world. New drivers are let out in the traffic for the first time meeting the new dangers of driving a car alongside other people, things and animals.
Wish everybody good luck!
So, what would it be like dying in a self-inflicted car crash? My first thought is: Messy, loud, chaotic and definitely guilt-filled. Not only might one not die instantly and therefore suffer for a longer period of time in which body and mind might be caught between the interior of the car, but there is also the possibility one is the main reason another person is injured or killed.
I hope to never ever die in a car crash I was responsible for. I would never be able to, in a figurative speech, live with myself. Being the reason of another persons misery is not a thing I would ever like. And then on the more personal injury note I really hope not to die in a car crash in general since I'm pretty sure extreme pain is guaranteed. Slow death with extreme pain one cannot control is NOT the way I want to die. But if, on the other hand, I was to be lucky and get killed instantly then maybe it would be okay.
But since there really is no guarantee on which it might be I hope for it to never ever happen.
On a side note I have been very cautious and a little tense whenever I drive too fast since the car crash I was involved in on the German highway when I was younger.
Oh and I just remembered the glass shard I have in my back pocket. Pretty stupid to forget about that.
søndag den 25. september 2011
Welcome to the end
Ever wondered what would have happened if that car you just passed hadn't passed you, but smashed into you on the sidewalk instead? If that beer you just drank was the one that would make your liver fail in a bad combination of pain killers? Or what would happen to you if you happened to be in the presence of a wild Bengal tiger.
As you stand in a situation were suddenly blood rushes to your head, the heart starts beating faster and senses sharpen as adrenalin tries to soothe the chock of events and your mind desperately tries to fathom what almost was about to make an end to its function.
In the afterthought of all these events does it sometimes cross your mind if you were actually kind of rooting for it to happen to you anyway?
I do this quite a lot. Today I got the idea of scribbling down my common (or not so common)/immediate or really through-thought reactions and thoughts on my daily encounters of "near death experiences". I call it that since they are not actual deathly situations, but only potential situations which could have developed in a very unfortunate way (or fortunate if you root for the other team).
When your life is boring and not worth blogging about then why not blog about death?
As you stand in a situation were suddenly blood rushes to your head, the heart starts beating faster and senses sharpen as adrenalin tries to soothe the chock of events and your mind desperately tries to fathom what almost was about to make an end to its function.
In the afterthought of all these events does it sometimes cross your mind if you were actually kind of rooting for it to happen to you anyway?
I do this quite a lot. Today I got the idea of scribbling down my common (or not so common)/immediate or really through-thought reactions and thoughts on my daily encounters of "near death experiences". I call it that since they are not actual deathly situations, but only potential situations which could have developed in a very unfortunate way (or fortunate if you root for the other team).
When your life is boring and not worth blogging about then why not blog about death?
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